Right now I am at one of my very favorite "happy places". I am scrapbooking at a hotel with my favorite scrapper friends. There is nothing that makes me breathe out more than sitting at a table with all of my "junk" spread out around me. I am one of the fortunate ones that has a dedicated space at home to pursue this passion of paper. But in some ways it is WORSE to have a room all set up because the packing up and getting ready to take your stuff somewhere else is a lot of work! Some of my friends never really "unpack" their stuff at home so it is more of a grab and go for them. Alas, it is one of those perspective things! As I was lugging all of my stuff down the stairs this morning, one of my containers fell and burst open spreading everything all down the stairs.
I remembered seeing the picture about perspective and making a choice, so standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at this mess, I decided that it was a good time to clean and organize that container! It was surprising how easy the clean up was with a little perspective change.
Today I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Chasing Rainbows. This blog post is "Winter of My Discontent" and boy could I ever relate to her words. She has been grieving the loss of her special needs son, who died very unexpectedly. I actually began reading her blog right around the time her son died. I never imagined that her words would have so much impact in my own life. That is until our family experienced an unimaginable loss. I have to agree with Kate, the author of this blog. It has been a winter of discontent for me. Things have seemed difficult and at times, I have lost patience with myself. I have been sort of "slogging" through the grief of losing Lucas, as well as also trying to support and stand with my children as they deal with all that surrounds the death of a child. It is comforting to know and be reminded that my path, our families path is just fine. Even if it doesn't fit into someone else's ideas of what it should look like. I am so thankful for the love of Jesus that surrounds me each day. The very real presence of the Holy Spirit that fills me and comforts me. I don't think I really understood what Jesus was saying when he said "Blessed are those that mourn for they shall be comforted" until now. It is a very real thing, this comfort. It comes in all different ways. Sometimes it is voice on the phone when you most need it. Or it might be a song or a verse that just reaches into a deep place in your heart. Sometimes it is a blog post by someone you have never met..... or a picture on Facebook. But one thing is certain. Jesus is very aware of me. He is very aware of you and knows exactly what you need.
I will be making a choice today to look out the window and see the sun shine and notice that the snow is melting away (even though more snow is predicted for next week). I will listen to the birds chirping in the trees and let the breeze blow into my face. Today, I will smile. And I will do lots of scrapbooking. And I will laugh with friends and I most likely will shed a few tears. But it is well with my soul.
Jesus, thank you for being with me everyday and in every thought. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who brings peace and comfort when it doesn't make any sense. Thank you for Kate Leong and her blog that reaches so many. Bless her and her family as they continue on their own path of grief. Thank you for the many who have stood with our family during this time of sorrow. Jesus, help us to turn our eyes forward... to look to you and to make a choice to see out of the other window! Amen