When you feel like you ended up in exactly the correct spot....

On my current Nanny job, the little girl usually takes good naps.  This gives me several hours of each day with not much to do.  On Monday I was scanning the floor to ceiling bookshelves in the "playroom" (which obviously was an office at one time) and I saw this book.  It is a weighty tome about 3" thick.  It contained some amazing pictures of the Chicago fire and also some photos from before the fire.  As I was paging through, I realized that this was a true encyclopedia with  entries for most of the towns around me.  So I searched for my town.  And there it was.

Now I don't expect you to actually be able to read the little tiny text.  I enjoyed the entire entry, but the reason this was so interesting for me was one paragraph.... The last full paragraph on the page.   It seems that my town was a "quiet vacation spot" from city life.   And then the last sentence of that paragraph...."Montgomery Ward established a vacation home for employees in 1918".  This was so interesting to me since my dad was an employee of Montgomery Ward for 43 years!   I actually moved to Illinois when my dad was transferred here (actually the last of many times Wards moved my family during those 43 years).  When Ken and I purchased our home, my dad was quite interested in the "country" town that we selected.  And 37 years ago, this was a small country town.  We had horses stabled across the creek behind our house and several people raised chickens.  It was certainly not a typical suburban town.  My dad loved the small town hardware store in town.  It was the kind of place that had so much "junk" (which my dad would just say was great stuff) and boxes on the shelves that might have been there for years and years.  There were also people who worked in that store that could understand exactly what you needed when you came with a plumbing problem, or needed a certain kind of screw.  My dad spent many hours just "looking" in that store.  And he really liked our house.  So I found it interesting that this was a vacation spot for Montgomery Ward employees.  Yes, things have changed in the 37 years that we have been here.  The horses are gone, and so are the chickens.  The growth of the town has been something.  The population when we moved here was 4,000 and I believe that our current population is 13,300.  That wonderful Hardware store is now an Ace Hardware and has moved into a shopping center.  Not the same at all.  But I remember the first time that Ken and I came out here to look at the model homes.  First of all, it seemed so far away from everything that we knew.  But we were getting tired of the traffic and congestion that surrounded us nearer to the city.  I remember feeling "settled" when we moved here.  I can't really explain why seeing this one sentence in this book brought me down this path, but here I am.  

Over the last couple of months I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I am going, but here is another reminder that I seem to be in exactly the right place.  Today I had an amazing vision during my worship time.  I saw a very large angel towering over our house.  He was holding a large banner that said "HOPE".  And the word that I heard was that I have somehow let go of the hope that was in my spirit after Lucas died.  The message was clear.  Because I could not hold on to hope, Jesus has sent a ministering angel to me, that is holding up that banner of hope for me and my family.  And more than that, HIS banner over me is LOVE.  Jesus is a banner of love over us all.  So in the last week I have been in a tunnel of safety, there has been a river of life flowing through that tunnel and I am floating on towards that destination, AND there is a banner of hope and love flying over me.  WOW!  This has been a wonderful week that includes this reminder that I am exactly where I was supposed to be.  Yes, this gives me reason to breathe out and rest.  The good news is that this banner of hope is flying over all of us.  Right now there is so much fear and uncertainty in our world.  There is tension that fills the airways and you can't miss it no where you look.  We all need to know that even when we can't seem to hope, there is hope rising over us.  And more than that, Jesus is the banner of love that covers us all.  He IS the peace that fills us.  So if you can identify with my struggles over the last few months, if you are feeling hopeless and fearful, close your eyes and imagine that banner of hope sailing above you.  Bask in the banner of love and just rest.  

Jesus, thank you for such a great week.  I love that you give us exactly what we need and you know how to speak so that we will listen.  Holy Spirit, thank you for the peace that passes understanding.  Thank you for flying that banner of hope when I couldn't hold on to hope.  And Jesus, thank you for being that banner of love.  Amen