Saturday, December 13, 2014

A present that really lasts.......and anger turned into peace

When I saw this bag sitting on the kitchen table tonight, the first thing I thought was "I need to call my mom!".   Now this is silly on so many levels.... since my mom has been gone since 2011.  But here's the reason.... it was one of those "Black Friday" shopping trips, oh so long ago.  I really don't think that my mom had any idea that this bag that she got for Doug would still be in use 25 years later!  Gwen got a pink bag and Doug got an orange bag.  I can't remember exactly what store we purchased these at (wish I knew, I'd be tempted to go back and buy something there!).  Even the zipper still works on this bag.  It isn't like these never got used.  For a long time these bags were the only suitcases that Gwen and Doug owned.  They went on camp outs, sleepovers, mission trips, and vacations. They flew with us to California and Florida and went back and forth to Minnesota more times than I can count.  Yes, these were a first rate Christmas presents that were given in love by my mother.  Yes, tonight I was missing my mom!

The bag is on my kitchen table because we are "doggy sitting" for Sammy and Kylie.
Doug and Susie are getting away for a few days.  They really need this time away and alone.  It is so good to be able to DO something that makes a difference for them.  We love these doggies!  They are very at home in our house.  And they are not much trouble.  Mostly they sleep in their beds.  And I must admit, I was quite thankful this evening when I took them for a walk and it was pleasantly WARM outside (I think it is in the upper 30's).   I don't know if I would have been so willing to let them leisurely sniff around if it had been 20 degrees colder.  But, tonight we had a nice walk.  

While I was letting the dogs just investigate our neighborhood, I had a chance to look up and appreciate the night sky.  And I took some great deep breaths of cool air.  And it was a great time to talk to Jesus.  Sometimes doing something different really lets you break out of the routine prayers and just have a great conversation.  Tonight was like that for me.  I was surprised that I was really angry today. Angry that I can't call my mom.  Just angry that Lucas is not here.  Angry that our family is so upset.  Angry that Doug and Susie are going through this.  And the thing is, it was okay that I was so angry.  I felt so much love and peace from Jesus that it really almost took my breath away.  Even though I expressed all these bad feelings.  In spite of the anger, Jesus knows and he loves me anyway.  Isn't that amazing? And not only does he cover me with his love, he brings me another measure of peace.  So that walk did more for me than it did for Sammy and Kylie.  And in that I am so thankful.

Jesus, thank you for letting it be totally okay for me to be angry!  Thank you for reminding me that your love is so much bigger than my feelings.   Holy Spirit, thank you for showing me that no matter where my feelings go, I can express them to Jesus.  Jesus, bless Doug and Susie and give them rest, peace and love during this time away.  Thank you for your care and protection for my entire family.  Amen

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