Missing my mom......still.....

I found this picture from 2002 of me and my mom.  I love how wonderful my mom looks in this picture.  She seems so vibrant and so "her"!  She has a cup of coffee in her hand and is sitting on a deck enjoying the outside air.  She looks happy and healthy.  This was 9 years before she died.  Yesterday marked four years since she died.  I have missed her all of those 4 years.  As I watch my own grandchildren grow and change, I think of how much she would have enjoyed them.  In a couple of weeks we will attend the wedding of the first of her great-grandchildren to get married.   Just a month ago there was a great-great grandchild born. (It's quite hard for me to imagine my sister has a great-grandchild!) I still have those moments when I think "I'll call mom" which just seems so silly.

I know last year I blogged about my less than wonderful April memories.  My mom died on April 12.  My mother-in-law died on April 15.  My dad died on April 19.  My grandmother died on April 21. My sister died on April 23.   Ken and I were talking about this yesterday, as I was remembering that it was the day that my mom had died.  And then, last night, we got a call from Ken's sister.  It seems that Ken's dad (who is 94) is not doing very well.  As a matter of fact, it seems that his time is most likely very short.  The first thought on my mind was "Not another APRIL death!"  But the truth is, he is more than ready to be out of this life.  And thanks to an amazing conversation I was able to have with him a few years ago, I am assured that he will be with Jesus when the time comes.  So, if it is April, it will be okay.

Over the last week I have been dreaming almost every night.  And I know that Jesus is trying to get my attention.  Several of the dreams had to do with mission trips.  More than one of the dreams were "repeat dreams".  A dream that I have had many times in the past.  In fact, one dream was so very vivid and clear that when I woke up, it took me a couple of minutes to realize that this had not really happened!

There has been so much "buzz" about this upcoming conference.  Just look at the line up of big name speakers.  I registered to attend this event on the first day that registration opened.  So, yes, I am going to be there.  I am slightly afraid of just how crowded it is going to be since everyone wants to be there!  I am sure that some of my dreams are related to this event.  For so long I have been feeling as if I have been in a holding pattern.  That there is something out there....right around the corner.  I am so ready for a change.  To be SURE and to KNOW that I am exactly where Jesus wants me to be.  It feels like I am stepping into a "new thing".  But after those dreams, it actually may be that I am just seeing the things that I have seen in my dreams, come into being.  So not really a NEW thing, but an expected and anticipated thing.  Please join me in praying for this conference.  Not just for the speakers, but for each person who attends.  Pray that each of us will have an encounter with Jesus and hear His voice.  

Jesus, thank you for my wonderful mom and all the years I  had with her.  Bring comfort and peace to Ken's dad during his final days.  Thank you for this upcoming conference.  Holy Spirit, bring every person to the event that needs to be there.  Give traveling mercies to all of the speakers and every person attending.  Thank you for dreams and vision and speaking to each of us.  Amen