Sunday, October 6, 2013

Forty years is a long time......

Early this morning I realized that today would have been Ken's mother's 90th birthday.  And one of the reasons that this day/date is always in my memory is that it is a special day for Ken and I also!  Forty years ago today, we got officially engaged! 
I've been wearing this ring for 40 years!  You know there are just some things that make you feel very old.  And this is certainly one of those things.  This ring feels like it is a part of my body.  I can't imagine not having it on my finger. 
 
Now let me tell you a little about that day, forty years ago.  I did not know that it was Ken's mom's birthday.  We had not discussed it and I was certainly not thinking that there would be a problem when we stopped by their house to show them the ring and announce our engagement.  It was not a happy day.  Ken's mom was not happy about her own 50th birthday and she was not very happy about our engagement either.  I was totally surprised at this and really didn't understand what the big deal was about being 50!  My mom and dad never made a big deal out of their ages and they were both over 50 at the time.  It was my first experience with a very depressed family member.  And it was made more difficult because I was so happy! 

This is a picture of Ken's mom, taken at Christmas that same year.  As you can see, 50 was not old and she looks quite young.  And even though we had a somewhat rocky start to our relationship, I had many, many good times with her.  She was very artistic - in fact we have many of her paintings around our house (and so do Doug and Gwen).  She loved all kinds of crafts and I remember one year making Mr. and Mrs. Santa Dolls.  My mom had her set for years!  Because of her I learned to needlepoint - something I had never done.  She made an some amazing large needlepoint rug for our nursery -  that is the ABC's.  Ken's mom and Dad did a lot of international travel and they loved France. (Ken's dad speaks French very well.)  I was introduced to many new and different foods at their table - including artichokes and cold lettuce soup.  And, in the later years, she was especially attached to their dogs.  Around the time of this picture they had a little grey french poodle. Later they had several Bijon's, the last Bobbie, still lives with Ken's dad in Florida. Over the years, she had many hospitalizations for various problems, and years of smoking left her with serious COPD at the end of her life. She always said that she never wanted to move out of their home in Roselle, and she got her wish.  She died at home.  I wish that I had a wonderful story about her faith and belief in God. Unfortunately, she told me that she didn't believe that there was anything beyond this life and she didn't believe in God.  And this is the hardest thing.  Near the end of her life she desperately wanted to be reconciled to her sister, whom she hadn't spoken to in years.  They had fought over their mother's care and finally her estate.  Thankfully, there was a chance for the sisters to speak and finally, she had a measure of peace.  Over the years I tried to share Jesus with her.  And now I must remember that we are not responsible for others.  It is only our job to share and let the Holy Spirit do the work. 
 
But I want to encourage you now to be bold to share when you have the chance.  I passed up many opportunities to share from my heart and instead, waited till it was simply to late.  Is there someone in your family or neighborhood that you feel drawn toward?  Are you afraid of what they might think about you?  There is nothing more important than knowing that Jesus is the only way to the Father.  And that Jesus loves them.  So speak up and let those around you see and know the love of Jesus through you.  Let the Holy Spirit prompt you to share and care and express that love of Jesus. 
 
Jesus, thank you for reminding me about what is really important.  Thank you for the blessing of the last 40 years.  Father, it was your plan that brought Ken and I together.  Thank you for our families.  Jesus, surround Ken's dad with your peace and love. Holy Spirit, give courage and boldness to all of us as we consider sharing your message of the love of Jesus.  Give us the right words at the right moments.  Father you plan for us all is amazing.  Thank you for your great love.   Amen
 
 
 
 
 

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